It’s winter the days are cold and short, the sun is barely out and we’re all lacking a little positivity in our lives. Finals just destroyed our mental health, Thanksgiving and stress eating threw on a few pounds to our waistline and on top of that we’re reflecting on all the resolutions we didn’t accomplish this past year. Christmas is around the corner but let’s face it for some of us, this is only more stress and the holiday blues creep on us.
I always feel like I fall apart a little in the winter perhaps this is just me, maybe its seasonal depression but I certainly don’t feel alone on this matter. Why is it so hard for us to admit when we aren’t okay? We continue our everyday routines, go to our crappy job and attend our classes even if we have no idea why we are majoring in what we do. We are so afraid to mess up or disappoint those around us we continue to do things that will make us miserable. Why do we do this and torture ourselves? Why do we constantly seek reassurance and pride from other people, even if it doesn’t make oneself happy? I recently stuck with a poor paying job, that only added stress to my already long week and workload because I didn’t want to quit and disappoint my boss or my parents. Finally, I snapped and couldn’t handle everything in my life. It was only when I reached the point of a mental breakdown did I leave my job, rather than feeling a load off my shoulders I felt guilt, anxiety and wondered how disappointed my parents would be.
Perhaps the only message I’m trying to convey here is to please yourself, truly live the life you desire, not one that was planned and picked by those around you. Go off the path you’re on if you aren’t happy, maybe people will question you or be unsupportive but really why do we care? Why is this such an initial fear of ours? After all we are the ones living this life who will be stuck with the consequences of not doing what we want. Figure out what you want to do and put all your efforts toward these goals. Doing things because others want you to is only a way to make yourself miserable and to delay fulfilling your own dreams. Sometimes what we decide won’t make our parents proud, if you’re lucky perhaps it will. It doesn’t matter. Do what you love, try to pay rent and as far as I’m concerned that success.
We are so involved in people pleasing we often lose sight of what we want for ourselves. I want to stop this now. When I look back on my life at eighty, I will thank myself for following my heart, for quitting the job that made me upset and for doing the things I wanted, not what others wanted from me. Perhaps at the end of the day that is success and that is truly living your life to the fullest.
“This idea of perpetual happiness is crazy and overrated, because those dark moments fuel you for the next bright moments; each one helps you appreciate the other.”
Perfectly Imperfect 